"You'll have to come and get fitted instore" - or do we just not know how to talk about bras?

If you've ever looked up bra fitting information online, you'll be presented with a page of google results by lingerie companies and retailers, most of which give you the same (basic) advice:

"if your band rides up, it's too large!" "the gore should tack" "if the cups are visibly too small, they're too small" "if the cups are visibly too big, they're too big"

Thanks a bunch, Boux Avenue

And ok, fine, it's basic and oversimplified but there's nothing inherently wrong with this. I take umbrage with these pages not stating that this information is oversimplified, and at how they never offer any useful, specific advice (such as to which specific bras to choose if you're facing a certain problem).

If the retailer has physical shops, there is invariably a message on the page somewhere along the lines of "if this information doesn't help you, you'll have to come and get fitted instore".

Aside from the obvious problems of accessibility with getting fitted instore (both to the disabled community and those who may face discrimination when going into a lingerie shop), there's another issue at play here.

It's the issue that this creates a dependence upon the fitter, and a lack of useful knowledge transferred to the person being fitted.  Telling someone that the gore needs to tack, but not giving tangible information as to why it isn't in a certain bra, isn't going to help them in the long run. And if the fitter makes a choice that confuses the fittee, then the fittee can feel unable to question the fitter, not only because of the inherent power imbalance (which is exacerbated by them being topless and in an unfamiliar location - with someone probably trained in sales), but because they don't really know where the bra fitter is coming from. Having more detailed information freely available on the website will help the fittee understand what knowledge the fitter is applying and how they are applying it, but this doesn't happen.

All of this is made worse by a probable lack of specific shape or fit language amongst bra fitters working together. Because none of the experience-based knowledge the fitter has is easily shared, it probably won't make its way into training materials for other fitters (and it certainly won't make it onto the website).

A culture of helplessness is formed, as both fitter and fittee think it must be too complicated to even try sharing this information.

If the fittee is happy with the help the fitter has provided, they then can't take that positive experience forwards and thus are essentially either trapped with that one location and one employee or are left to fumble around in new shops on their own. If the fittee doesn't like their new bras, they don't have the power to find out why, and they feel dejected, perhaps going to different shops and still not knowing what they really need. Other fitters may or may not have a different fit strategy, but in the end, as nothing is very well explained, they end up feeling confused by and eventually hating bra shopping.

Experienced bra fitters may have a lot of know-how but because this isn't being effectively communicated to the general public, their expertise is wasted. This means inaccurate information can thrive in communities of confused and frustrated people (for example, one popular bra fitting group insists that balconettes and plunges wholly and exclusively work for full on bottom breast shapes), and between poorly trained fitters. It's why people think bras are inherently uncomfortable, and why lingerie startup kickstarters thrive with bras that claim to solve problems typically experienced only by those wearing poorly fitted bras.

Speaking of communities, there is no real conversation going between online bra fitting communities and fitters instore, which can really confuse people going between both - a fittee can hear different language and receive completely different advice online and instore, such a disconnect can make it very hard to work out what's best for them and why they should choose to trust one person over another. It's apples to oranges.

What's worse is that this lack of language to communicate in-depth bra knowledge, or just a lack of communication in general, directly loses companies money.  The dearth of shape language mentioned above means that, when new bras arrive, fitters in stores have to individually work out how they all fit - which means more time spent getting people to try on bras that won't work for them, not only because they can't discuss it with the people who have designed the bras, but they can't discuss it with each other. The other side to this coin is on the consumer end - customers don't know which bras are more likely to work for them, so they end up spending more money returning bras. Not only this, but they can also get stuck in a rut of buying bras with certain attributes - or even just buying the same model over and over again - because they think it's the easiest way to find a bra that's, if not perfect, good enough.

So why does all of this happen? Why do companies choose not to at least attempt to fully educate their consumers? Why are fitters left largely to their own devices? Why do fitters not explain everything they can to their clients?

I think mostly it's tradition and a lack of trust in the general public to be able to educate themselves. I don't think bra fitting is too complicated a subject that the average person can't do a passable job at at least fitting themselves. I really don't. But the fact that bra fitting exists as a profession and yet we are constantly bombarded with statistics that say anywhere from 70-90% of women wear the wrong bra size, the perception that it's some mysterious, unknowable art continues. And from the point of view of a company: if so many of their customers aren't wearing bras that fit them properly, how can they be sure the customers even care?

It's clear that the customers do care, but have had poor experiences with fitters and the given fit advice, and have grown to not believe that bras can be comfortable, because the causes for their problems have not been relieved or even adequately explained.

There is also the issue of defensiveness - fitters don't want to be told by anyone if their advice has been lacking or incorrect, bra wearers don't want to be told that they've spent hundreds or even thousands of pounds on something uncomfortable when there are easily accessible better options. People who feel they have had their money and time wasted by poor advice might not want to communicate with fitters at all. So it can be very hard to talk honestly about fit in an open environment.

I believe that with the appropriate language and calm discussion we can bridge the divides between bra designers, bra fitters, online communities, and the general public. I invite people to start contacting these other groups, and implore companies in particular to do a better job with educating their customers. I urge people to contribute to and support the baby steps happening already - like this AMA. After all - knowledge is power, power in this case referring to comfortable tits.