Asos: You... Really Didn't Even Try this Time — Asos Fuller Bust Fan Lace Balconette Review in 28G

Buckle up folks, it's gonna be a wild ride. Honestly I've heard multiple people have success with Asos's Fuller Bust range but after my experience I'm utterly confused as to how that can happen.

Apologies for the poor lighting! And yes those are plasters on my nipples that I coloured in with a felt tip to make them look less nipple-like.  I promise to invest in some proper ones soon!

The good: This bra is cheap as heck at only £20 full price with free shipping. Ordering from Asos is a doddle and their returns system is free and easy. I quite like the design, the lace is interesting and almost has a kind of art nouveau vibe to it. It comes in 28-38 DD-G.

As this bra is unpadded I didn't mind that it arrived in a bag folded at the gore, with cups folded flat.

The Design:

On the model this bra looks pretty interesting. Though it doesn't look luxurious by any means I think it's quite fun and the lace design is quite cool.

The Construction:

The bra does feel pretty cheap, cheaper than the other bra for some reason. They added this weird beige mesh to one side of it? Maybe the material is so flimsy the straps threatened to snap off the bra when wearing it?

The bra has some side boning and three hooks. I've noticed that full bust ranges by companies not usually suited to them seem to include a lot of side boning but I'm not certain they really increase stability and support by any measurable degree.

The wires. Oh my word the wires. They are so so flexible, and the gore feels mega flimsy. More on that later.

The Fit:

Again, apologies for the mug shot lighting! Though I think it's quite apt for a fit this criminal.

Wow. Just... wow. Never has "quadboob" had a more literal meaning. This bra mangles my boobs and cuts directly across the nipple with a weird seam that closes it off on top a huge amount.

Look at those wires! They're not that wide when measured normally but they warp with next to no force so they have ended up basically on my back.

The bra also has next to do immediate depth so that, combined with the way too wide wires, means that my boobs are not supported at all (but they are basically cut in half so there's that??).

One word: oof.

The band is slightly too loose for me on the tightest hooks. You see those bits of boning? Although named "side boning" they seem to have made their way onto my back. Strangely enough the band doesn't seem to stretch at all, most of the size increase comes from the wires bending. I bet if the wires were firmer this bra would be a bit less nipple splitting and a slightly more acceptable fit.

I had an idea with this bra - it seems to be the classic "fits badly well" shape. So I added an extender to the loosest hooks and made the band ride up a bit and look!

See that? The bra almost looks like it fits to an extent. Urgh, I forgot how bad a way too loose band feels so that was a less than enjoyable re-acquaintance. The things I do for you all!

Bratabase Measurements:

You guys, I messed up. I forgot to take bratabase measurements for this bra. I know I know, shame on me, but I was in a rush to take pics and send this bra back (hence the terrible lighting). However this bra is so terrible it basically doesn't matter.

Conclusion:

I sent this bra back with an F grade and a letter to ASOS's parents enclosed. "Must try harder."

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I promise my next review will be of a bra that actually has a passable fit!

Have any of you had ASOS success?